Two Steps Forward...

October 9, 2007 - Tuesday

Current mood: tired
Category: Life

I had a day today. You know, "one of those." It started way before I was ready for it to start. It ended way past when I wanted it to end. The inbetween time was much more complicated than I thought it would be. I'm on the downslope. I'm starting a great new job in less than two weeks. Things should be cheese. Things are not cheese. Just when I think I'm moving forward I have to move back first.

It's like sewing. I took home ec, I know the drill. If you mess up a stitch, or if the machine messes up the stitch, you pull out the thread and re-do it. You sew it again. Life is hard to sew again. It's hard to pull out the thread: the deed done, the word spoken, the incorrect lesson learned. Is it possible to "undo" those things?

How many times have I messed up my life? How many times, Lord, have I truly chosen the wrong path? So many times I wish You could "redo" those things? I don't mean to ask for "do overs" but, when You throw our transgressions as far as the East is from the West, why can't You also throw away our memory of it?

I suppose, for some of us (Your stubborn, hard-headed children) it is because we would never learn if we had no memory of the offense. Sometimes, however, I think my head is not just "hard" but quite possibly impenetrable.

In the next few weeks I have a lot more to think and pray about than I realized. I cannot simply coast. Sigh. I suppose the benefit of one step back is that you get another look at where you are going... maybe this time I drop the needle down my stitch will be straight?

PS. Thanks for my new job, Lord.

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