The Dixon Discourse

I see it now. I understand what I did wrong...  I shouldn't have ever come to you. Of all the people I thought I could count on there, why in the world did I think it would be you? Sure, in theory it should have been that way, and I would admit that in the past there had been a few good conversations with at least one of you. But the two of you together? Puh-leeze… what was I thinking? The issues I was dealing with - the issues I have continually dealt with since I was self-actualizing enough to recognize an issue - were too close to home for you. Literally. They were in your home. Or at least they had been at one point. Who does that? I mean, would you take your car to a repair guy who drove around in a car that was always breaking down? In my defense, I did temporarily forget that they had cars that were always breaking down. I didn't actually remember until the whole thing was over and I walked out and it was like one of those moments in cartoons where the l

Originally started October 2018. Gosh, I've needed to write for such a long time. I can't even get into journaling for some reason. I don't even care if anyone reads this, that's not the point... I just need to talk - unhindered and unfettered - talk. Y'know how when you get a splinter under your fingernail and you can see the thing so you know it's there? So you get your extraction tools: fingernail clippers, tweezers, maybe a sewing needle or push pin, if you're my dad you get a pocket knife... if you're over 35 you get your reading glasses... you get peroxide or rubbing alcohol... everything you need and then you go in for minor surgery. You poke around and scrape the underside of the nail. You pull at something dark and then realize it's just dirt. You pick at it a little too hard and maybe it bleeds a little. Then finally you pull the smallest of little slivers out and think, "Yes! I got it." You look closely at the shard of wood a