The Dixon Discourse

For the first time, in a long time, I am truly single. I use the term "truly single" because often times my single status was incomplete. It wasn't a lie; I wasn't dating anyone or romantically involved with anyone, but neither was I completely available. Single in these situations is a little like putting your marital status as "IT'S COMPLICATED" when you're struggling with a relationship or marriage. It's not untrue in the least bit, but it doesn't tell the whole story. A person can be single while still being emotionally invested in someone (hope abounds, at times... even in me) so I can't say that I would have been completely free to invest in someone else, had they come along, during at least a few of my stretches as a single person. As of recently, however, I am 100% free and clear. In the past few weeks it has occurred to me that I am at the end of one long, exhausting, and much of the time painful, chapter of my life. That'

Back in the day when I was a young adult, I had this thing about "being real" and speaking my mind. It was important for me to be honest and clear, and I'll admit that sometimes my desire for honesty and clarity took me into the realm of what I now refer to as, "earthy" language. I suppose there were times that I used certain words for shock value, and there were times that certain words materialized in concert with extreme anger issuing forth. I tried to be sensitive, however, understanding that I didn't have some kind of free-for-all pass to talk like the proverbial sailor or trucker simply because I was trying to be "real." As I have grown older, and mellowed a little, I have maintained the desire to be honest and clear while also cultivating the art of thinking before I speak. Sometimes I even practice speaking things before I speak them. Having grown up with a penchant for the dramatic you would have thought I would have made more use of commu