Carpe Saccharum - Seize the See's!




For the first time, in a long time, I am truly single. I use the term "truly single" because often times my single status was incomplete. It wasn't a lie; I wasn't dating anyone or romantically involved with anyone, but neither was I completely available. Single in these situations is a little like putting your marital status as "IT'S COMPLICATED" when you're struggling with a relationship or marriage. It's not untrue in the least bit, but it doesn't tell the whole story. A person can be single while still being emotionally invested in someone (hope abounds, at times... even in me) so I can't say that I would have been completely free to invest in someone else, had they come along, during at least a few of my stretches as a single person. As of recently, however, I am 100% free and clear.

In the past few weeks it has occurred to me that I am at the end of one long, exhausting, and much of the time painful, chapter of my life. That's not to say there weren't good days mixed in, I have some fond memories of the cooler moments, but for the most part I feel like I was worked over spiritually, emotionally, and in some cases, physically. In fact, the unseen bruises and wounds are just now starting to heal as I allow The Comforter to mend me in His good time. As I continue to process through things I find myself taking a personal inventory of everything (and everyone) in my world; gathering all my "stuff" together, sorting it all out, and along the way deciding what should stay and what needs to go. Ecclesiastes 3 (NIV) begins, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens..." So what season is this? I'm not sure. I hope there will be some laughing, and some dancing... definitely a time of healing - that's already begun... But no embracing... obviously not in the literal sense -the physical act of love between a man and wife, but also no romance... no investing... I'm putting on my blinders (horse racing reference, anyone?) until the Lord takes them off.

So, what is a practical meaning of this declaration? Well...

Valentine's Day is just around the corner... and I'm sans Valentine... and while I refuse to seriously refer to the day as "Single Awareness Day" (I've been joking about it, but the acronym spells SAD, and I'm not SAD so I'm not gonna use it) being no body's Valentine poses a problem... Y'see there aren't a lot of retail-chocolate-candy promoting holidays in general, and even less that I embrace.

I don't celebrate Halloween, so I don't buy candy cuz I don't give it out. AND! Believe it or not, I don't usually partake of the bounteous treasure that my trick-or-treating niece and nephews bring home. I will, however, help with costumes and make-up - but that's just cuz I'm creative... don't judge!

In our family, Thanksgiving and Christmas is really more about homemade stuff. And as crazy as it sounds, as I get older I find I prefer divinity and fudge less, and baked goods more. I still have ONE or TWO pieces of fudge or divinity, but I don't pack it away like I used to... or sneak pieces of it from the downstairs freezer at midnight when everyone is sleeping... I said don't judge!!

New Year's Eve is sort of continuation of Christmas for my family: there's usually tons of leftover goodies because mom makes industrial size platters of everything and "hides" it in the downstairs freezer until it's party time. These days, of course, there's even more than before because she still overcompensates for my snacking even though I'm not quite the closet eater I was in my teens... being that my food issues have evolved over the years... you're still judging me, I can feel it. *snicker* Oooo... snicker doodles...

If stores sell chocolate for St. Patrick's Day it's usually either green, or gross, or both: no thanks! Green eggs and ham? Maybe. Green chocolate? The visual I'm getting right now... *as a I stifle a gag* brbbbrbllll... not pretty.

The last time I got an Easter basket was when I was in my teens. (Yes, to those of you who are counting, that WAS YEARRRRRRSSSSSSS ago, thank you very much.) Even so, I'm not really into the whole "Easter Bunny" scene these days, anyway. Sure, I might hide plastic eggs with change in them, but I'll be tarred and feathered before I hunt for hard-boiled eggs just to be rewarded with Peeps and Palmer's Chocolate. (No offense intended to those who love Peeps and/or Palmer's Chocolate, I'm just bein' real.) However if the eggs are still fresh I will partake of Mary Jo's potato/egg salad... I'll even peel and cut the eggs!

So what's left?

Mother's Day? I'm not a mom.

Father's Day? Ummmm... I'm thinkin' not.

Independence Day? I'm sure red, white, and blue chocolate tastes ABOUT as good as green chocolate... aaaannnnnd the visuals are back... bleh!

MLK Jr. Day, Presidents' Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Veteran's Day: all very worthy holidays! Especially the ones you get to have off from work!!! But not really retail-chocolate-candy friendly...

So what's a "truly single" girl to do when Valentine's Day rolls around, and she is no body's Valentine? I mean, it's not bad enough that a few of my boyfriends have DARED to assume that because I'm "voluptuous" (their word, not mine) that I don't WANT chocolate... FOOL, PLEASE! Psh! Just cuz I'm fat doesn't mean I'm crazy! Like I'm gonna start my chocolate fast on VALENTINE'S DAY?? Hello?? In truth, I find it highly offensive if you're my Valentine and DON'T buy me chocolate... We're adults, I know I'm fat! I didn't GET this way eating heart-shaped boxes full of chocolate, and I'm not gonna get SKINNY by skippin' out on 'em! Give me my one day!

Okay, I've settled down... back to the issue at hand. There is no boyfriend this year... not even close... and that's okay... but what about the chocolate? Well. I'll TELL you about the chocolate!

I'm buying my OWN!!! I'm gonna head down to See's Candies, and I'm gonna get me some chocolate truffles, and if I'm feeling generous (and especially if they slip any fruit cream truffles in my bag) I just... might... share.

Carpe Saccharum! Seize the See's!

PS. I love you!
Steph

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