T.M.I. (Totally Missing It)
Back in the day when I was a young adult, I had this thing about "being real" and speaking my mind. It was important for me to be honest and clear, and I'll admit that sometimes my desire for honesty and clarity took me into the realm of what I now refer to as, "earthy" language. I suppose there were times that I used certain words for shock value, and there were times that certain words materialized in concert with extreme anger issuing forth. I tried to be sensitive, however, understanding that I didn't have some kind of free-for-all pass to talk like the proverbial sailor or trucker simply because I was trying to be "real."
As I have grown older, and mellowed a little, I have maintained the desire to be honest and clear while also cultivating the art of thinking before I speak. Sometimes I even practice speaking things before I speak them. Having grown up with a penchant for the dramatic you would have thought I would have made more use of communication tools like tone and inflection. I mean, I think I did in some ways - how can you tell an exciting story without acting excited, right? But sincerity, gravity, earnestness, urgency... these are things that require less drama and more intensity. Over the years I think I've learned how to use intensity so the need for my "earthy" vocabulary has waned.
Even so, I still use it.
For instance, I'd love to be delicate, and dainty, and coy, about my stomach issues, but there's just not an awful lot that's delicate, or dainty, or coy, about what goes on behind closed, not to mention locked, bathroom doors. It's gross. It's painful. It's aromatically challenging. It's embarrassing... and quite often it's downright hilarious! So I use words like "poop," and "puke," and "vomit." I use phrases like, "tossing cookies" and "belly up to the porcelain bar." I use them judiciously - I'm picky with regard to whom I'm delivering my visceral missives, and I certainly don't use them en masse (for the most part). I recognize, most of the time, that there are certain people who can deal, and certain people who would rather not deal. I'm trying to speak honestly, not offensively.
Facebook has been pretty cool for me. I know there are negatives, but so far for me, the pros have greatly outweighed the cons. I find that when I get caught up in the madness, or narcissism starts to set in, I can just take a few days off and perform a manual/spiritual reset to my heart drive. When I come back I'm seeing things the right way, saying the right things, and being an encouragement to my FB friends rather than a discouragement or stumbling block. I also find that this "reset" insures that my inward goal of pleasing Christ runs parallel with my outward goal of setting a "real," good, example. Notice I said, "goal" people. (insert grin here)
I realize my goals are not the goals of everyone who claims Christ as Savior. I'm not even going to say that my goals SHOULD be the goals of my brothers and sisters. I am a little concerned, however, by some of the (here comes some of that earthy language I was talking about) crap I'm reading and seeing on peoples' posts and statuses. Now I'm no prude, and NOBODY better say I don't have a sense of humor... but I think we have gone past "TMI" - TOO MUCH INFORMATION territory and tumbled headlong into "TMI" - TOTALLY MISSING IT territory.
This isn't just about how much is too much; this is about recognizing your audience, remembering what it means to be classy versus trashy, and asking yourself who it is that you ultimately represent. If you claim Christ as your Savior then HE is who you ultimately represent: for better or for worse.
If you want to request prayer, and feel comfortable enough with telling people the issue is testicular or breast cancer, prostate issues, or gynecological problems, then go right ahead. Yes, you may very well be broadcasting that to your 300 friends, but I don't think there are many of us adults who are going to respond back with a "TMI!" On the other hand, if you feel the need to refer to body parts in a casual sense, or innuendo, or blatant references to sex... well, that might be pushing it. Okay, no, that IS pushing it. It's about decorum! I'm not trying to censor anyone, I don't consider myself to be the FB Police, but let's use a little common sense. When you get ready to post something on FB consider how Christ, in all His Holiness, would respond. I'm not saying He wouldn't offer you grace, I'm saying why give Him cause to need to over something so... well... "DUH!"? And what about the PEOPLE who are going to be reading your posts? Yes, it's your page, I can un-friend you if I want, but we're brothers and sisters in Christ... I shouldn't HAVE to un-friend you... you should make better choices...
Now any time I point one finger at you I have three fingers pointing back at me, so don't even do the, "Well, you're not miss perfect, Stephanie." Go back and read the first few paragraphs... you have my confession there. What I'm saying is that WE as a body of believers need to CENSOR ourselves. If we can't do it OURSELVES then we need to be willing to take some loving tongue lashings from those who love us.
So, don't make me get the soap out! Clean up your act. Talk like the ladies and gentlemen you are, and if you aren't, then talk like the ladies and gentlemen you are SUPPOSED to be. I'm going to be horrified when we get to Heaven if God says to one of us, "You were a poor witness on Facebook and that friend that you never really talked to, but they always read your profile and wall, well, they never got the message about Me..."
I love you.
Steph
As I have grown older, and mellowed a little, I have maintained the desire to be honest and clear while also cultivating the art of thinking before I speak. Sometimes I even practice speaking things before I speak them. Having grown up with a penchant for the dramatic you would have thought I would have made more use of communication tools like tone and inflection. I mean, I think I did in some ways - how can you tell an exciting story without acting excited, right? But sincerity, gravity, earnestness, urgency... these are things that require less drama and more intensity. Over the years I think I've learned how to use intensity so the need for my "earthy" vocabulary has waned.
Even so, I still use it.
For instance, I'd love to be delicate, and dainty, and coy, about my stomach issues, but there's just not an awful lot that's delicate, or dainty, or coy, about what goes on behind closed, not to mention locked, bathroom doors. It's gross. It's painful. It's aromatically challenging. It's embarrassing... and quite often it's downright hilarious! So I use words like "poop," and "puke," and "vomit." I use phrases like, "tossing cookies" and "belly up to the porcelain bar." I use them judiciously - I'm picky with regard to whom I'm delivering my visceral missives, and I certainly don't use them en masse (for the most part). I recognize, most of the time, that there are certain people who can deal, and certain people who would rather not deal. I'm trying to speak honestly, not offensively.
Facebook has been pretty cool for me. I know there are negatives, but so far for me, the pros have greatly outweighed the cons. I find that when I get caught up in the madness, or narcissism starts to set in, I can just take a few days off and perform a manual/spiritual reset to my heart drive. When I come back I'm seeing things the right way, saying the right things, and being an encouragement to my FB friends rather than a discouragement or stumbling block. I also find that this "reset" insures that my inward goal of pleasing Christ runs parallel with my outward goal of setting a "real," good, example. Notice I said, "goal" people. (insert grin here)
I realize my goals are not the goals of everyone who claims Christ as Savior. I'm not even going to say that my goals SHOULD be the goals of my brothers and sisters. I am a little concerned, however, by some of the (here comes some of that earthy language I was talking about) crap I'm reading and seeing on peoples' posts and statuses. Now I'm no prude, and NOBODY better say I don't have a sense of humor... but I think we have gone past "TMI" - TOO MUCH INFORMATION territory and tumbled headlong into "TMI" - TOTALLY MISSING IT territory.
This isn't just about how much is too much; this is about recognizing your audience, remembering what it means to be classy versus trashy, and asking yourself who it is that you ultimately represent. If you claim Christ as your Savior then HE is who you ultimately represent: for better or for worse.
If you want to request prayer, and feel comfortable enough with telling people the issue is testicular or breast cancer, prostate issues, or gynecological problems, then go right ahead. Yes, you may very well be broadcasting that to your 300 friends, but I don't think there are many of us adults who are going to respond back with a "TMI!" On the other hand, if you feel the need to refer to body parts in a casual sense, or innuendo, or blatant references to sex... well, that might be pushing it. Okay, no, that IS pushing it. It's about decorum! I'm not trying to censor anyone, I don't consider myself to be the FB Police, but let's use a little common sense. When you get ready to post something on FB consider how Christ, in all His Holiness, would respond. I'm not saying He wouldn't offer you grace, I'm saying why give Him cause to need to over something so... well... "DUH!"? And what about the PEOPLE who are going to be reading your posts? Yes, it's your page, I can un-friend you if I want, but we're brothers and sisters in Christ... I shouldn't HAVE to un-friend you... you should make better choices...
Now any time I point one finger at you I have three fingers pointing back at me, so don't even do the, "Well, you're not miss perfect, Stephanie." Go back and read the first few paragraphs... you have my confession there. What I'm saying is that WE as a body of believers need to CENSOR ourselves. If we can't do it OURSELVES then we need to be willing to take some loving tongue lashings from those who love us.
So, don't make me get the soap out! Clean up your act. Talk like the ladies and gentlemen you are, and if you aren't, then talk like the ladies and gentlemen you are SUPPOSED to be. I'm going to be horrified when we get to Heaven if God says to one of us, "You were a poor witness on Facebook and that friend that you never really talked to, but they always read your profile and wall, well, they never got the message about Me..."
I love you.
Steph
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