What's the point?

I moved here to work. That's it. The fact that my biological family is here, well, that's a bonus, sure, but as much as I've grown to care about them, they aren't the reason I moved. I moved for the job. SO! I'm working! It hasn't been easy. There have been a lot of personality clashes, a lot of illness causing absenteeism on my part, more personality clashes, and enough drama to qualify me for a degree in it. But I'm working... Yep, I'm working...

When I started at SCRI, overtime was almost mandatory: extra hours were always available because the department I was in needed to catch up with the quickly growing business. When things slowed down temporarily during the holidays I was able to help out in another department where, once again, things were behind. Tons of overtime hours required again. Life was good! Tiger wasn't here yet so I didn't have anything to come home to other than television. I was able to buy my car, move into an apartment, and even bought some new clothes. At times it actually overwhelmed me. I was up to my ears in paperwork and was doing a three person job by myself and struggling to meet deadlines. Oh MY was I working!

And then things kinda got screwy: it felt like all of a sudden Tiger was here, overtime just sort of dropped off the face of the earth, drama was increasing exponentially, and somewhere along the way people lost confidence in me (at least that's what it felt like). So I switched departments and thought things were going to be better, but it feels like it got worse. All the while the money coming in was decreasing and my bills seemed to be increasing... I ended up working just to be able to afford a place to come home to: nothing extra, no fun without it "robbing Peter," and even caring for Tiger became a burden! Soon I didn't have my car, paid my rent late a few times (with staggering late fees assessed), and had no fun, not to mention no financial security, because I couldn't afford anything extra or incidental! What's the point?

So for the next few months - at least until December/January - I'm going to be renting a room from a lady with middle school aged son. I'll have an opportunity (dear Lord, don't let me blow it) to save up some money so I'll be able to move into a place on my own that I can actually afford but still have some money left over to have a life! I'm glad I got the chance to be here at EC. It's been great for the most part. I just don't want to have moved here to Texas solely for the purpose of having a job that paid for my living expenses alone. I need to have a life beyond going to work and coming home from work. I've gone down that road before and the place I arrived was NOT good. Ending up at that place is DEFINITELY not the point. :)


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