Everybody’s working for the weekend... I’m working ON the weekend.

November 1, 2008 - Saturday

Current mood: calm

I'm at work this morning. I forgot to mention a few blogs ago that I always have my Saturday morning gig from 7am to 11am, so at the very least I'm picking up a little check once a week. I am VERY thankful for that. It gives me gas money at least.

Tuesday morning I got an email from a Christian foster-care placement organization in Klamath Falls. They have an opening, entry level as a breakfast/lunch COOK, and wanted to know if I would be interested... Hello, it's working with troubled kids, of COURSE I am interested. I called them on Thursday. We talked, prayed, and I said I'd send in an application; we would let God decide where He wanted me. Later that day I got a call from work asking if I wanted two night shifts Sat/Sun and Sun/Mon. I said, "YES!" as long as I could get off work early enough to get to church Sunday morning. Done deal. I've got a few more hours now.

I have patience. What I'm experiencing is NOT impatience... I don't believe it's distrust, either. I can't put my finger on it. It's still that anticipation thing. It's almost like when I was in highschool and I couldn't wait to be "grown up." Maybe I've reverted back to that stage and I'm feeling that angst because I'm living with my parents. The Lord knows that they still treat me like I'm a child... am I choosing to act and feel like one? I don't know. I know I don't feel very mature when they don't respect my privacy and look in my room when I'm not home. I don't feel like an adult when they ask me if I've applied for any jobs lately when they know I just spent 2 hours in the office going over the Statesman Journal's classifieds. I certainly don't feel very mature when they chastise me for taking my own car to town.

What is this teaching me? I know there's a lesson here, somewhere. I've gotten to the point that I've done this enough times to KNOW there is a lesson. What is it, Lord? What part of me are You working on? What part are You perfecting? Whatever it is, I know You are walking me through it... making sure I don't just see and hear the lesson, but retain and apply it as well. It is DIFFICULT! My pride is non-existent at the moment and my self-esteem is beyond battered. I still have my sense of humor, though, THANK YOU for that. I still have hope, and at least an ounce or two of joy that You seem to keep refilling like a jar of oil... I am thankful, Lord.

So, off work at 11am today, home to sleep then back to work at 8pm tonight. Off at 6am tomorrow, home to get ready and go to church, then home to sleep and back to work at 8pm on Sunday night. Maybe I'll get more hours, maybe I won't. Whatever happens, I am waiting, Lord, fixing my eyes on You.

You are GOOD.

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