Kick Her When She's Down

March 18, 2010 - Thursday

Current mood: nerdy
Category: Life
I’m having one of those days… scratch that, I’m having one of those YEARS! Yeah, and I’m still only in the first quarter. Niiiiiiiice. Not.

It’s so NOT funny, I have been so bored and so out of sorts lately that I find I’m creating drama where there is none. I see my niece and nephew overreact to just about EVERYTHING and I think, “Oh my word… that’s ME!” It’s truly frightening. I have this one situation, which will remain secret, and on any other given day, week, or month I would be stoic and poised and ready to leave people in my dust, but today? This week? This month? Ugh. I’m so pathetic I make mySELF puke… which is funny because that’s one of the reasons I’m “here” in the first place. It’s not good enough that my body is sick on its own; I have to kick her when she’s down by doing stupid stuff that makes me sick of myself. Ugh. Instead of THROWing up, I should try GROWing up and handling things like an adult… what a freakin’ concept, huh?

This must be cabin fever. I’m going bonkers because I’m on house arrest while my viscera try to figure out what they want to do next. At least I don’t have an “ankle bracelet” – at least no ones tracking me… or are they? LOL. Yes, focus on the good – Thank You, Lord, that I’m not paranoid… yet. *ugh* Thank You for the 4 days I DID go to work last week. Thank You that I will be going back again. Thank You that even when I make me puke, YOU don’t want to puke.

I am a complicated, screwed-up, hilariously aware, and despite all the rambling, somewhat emotionally healthy woman who simply needs to get out of her house… and her neighborhood… and maybe even this town… for a little bit. PLEASE!

Sigh.

Okay, that was a pretty cleansing sigh, although the writing on the… wall(?) doesn’t really give that away. I’m realizing as I actually BREATHE (I opened my front door and let some air in, thank You, Lord, that it’s beautiful outside and warm enough to do that) and take some oxygen into my lungs, which is feeding my beyond muddled brain, that I’m probably hungry, and craving chocolate, and coffee, and fatigued, and lonely… but not anemic, I took my iron pill. So all this drama is being manufactured (by yours truly) because I’m in need and I’m looking to every source but the One I should (total “DUH” moment) look to. Hello??

Gosh, now I remember why I enjoy blogging so much. It’s cathartic… and dude, I’m really funny! Imagine that, I turned this whole “Waaaah” thing around… in less than 500 words! I’m a total stud. Scratch that, God is a total stud. LOL.

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