Bananas & Oranges & a Sense of Entitlement
 | Current mood:  annoyed Category: Life I have recently discovered two very alarming personal truths. The first is that apparently I owe something to every single person in the United States of America. The second is that the when I say "no" I don't actually mean, "no" I mean, "Ask me again or yell at me, and then if I still refuse, threaten to take something away from me or try and barter with me so you can get your way."
In the past week I have made three attempts to simplify my life for the purposes of mental and physical survival. I am currently in semi-crisis mode because I have more commitments than I have time. I did sign up for most of the commitments, (who really signs up for surgery, though?) however they are all requiring more and more time from me…time that I don't have. While I trust the Lord for provision and guidance, I also try to keep my eyes and ears open so I can see and hear the ways He is providing and guiding. After all, when opportunity knocks, you'd better be listening and you'd better open the door. SO! In light of all of this I have tried to cut back on time commitments. The problem is that each time I have tried to say, "Sorry, I need to stop doing this otherwise I'm going to go crazy or die or both," the response I have received has been to try and keep me in the situation. In other words, people are not taking "no" for an answer.
I guess I kind of understand the bartering: the attempt at a compromise… it's difficult going through the hiring process and we can all be selfish at times when it comes to making sure we get what we need. But it's not like I'm trying to quit for bigger and better things…I'm not trying to ditch one thing for something else. I'm trying to survive here…trying to do what I can so I don't jeopardize my CAREER, my HEALTH, and my SANITY! I guess those things are only important to me… and yet the people I'm trying to say "no" to are considering those things for themselves: THEIR career, THEIR health, and THEIR sanity! The difference is when they consider those things for themselves they call it "self-preservation." When I consider those things for myself it's called "selfishness." Hmmmm.
The part I don't understand is how people have such a sense of entitlement. Where did that sense of entitlement come from? Does the simple fact that you were born mean you should get everything you want? Does every person on the face of the planet owe you something? Have you been that perfect? Have you really done so much that you're entitled to getting your way all the time? Apparently I owe a lot of people things. I owe them my loyalty, I owe them my time, I owe them my health, I owe them a multitude of sacrifices of every possible kind… and I guess I owe them that simply because they were born. There's no other reason. They haven't done anything out of the ordinary for me. Okay, you gave me a job that I was qualified for, I did a good job and you paid me, but I'm not allowed to quit? Wasn't this an at-will situation? If you had to let me go for some reason other than poor performance, would you change your mind just because I expected you to? Just because I thought you owed me? No! If you have to let me go you're going to let me go. You may be sad that you have to do it but that's how things work sometimes.
Now here's the kicker. I have one situation where I actually do owe something to someone but they wouldn't take what I owed when I offered it, they wanted payment of another kind, regardless of whether I had what they wanted or not. Not only would they not take what I had to give, they were beyond rude and cruel about it. There was yelling and screaming and name-calling!!! I mean think about that. You loan me some bananas, because I don't have any. At some point we make an agreement that I can give you oranges in lieu of the bananas that I owe you but if I get some bananas along the way I can also give those to you, too. After a while I run out of oranges, but now have bananas to give you. You decide you don't want bananas anymore, however…you like the oranges and that's all you will take now. Not only will you only take oranges from me, if I try to give you anything else you will take my fruit cart away from me…and you won't let me back on your island ever again. You could get the oranges from someone else, but that would take too much effort on your part. You'd rather make me have to make the effort…I have to find the oranges somehow, and give them to you. Oh, but as an after thought, you decide you might take a few bananas now and then, as long as you also get as many oranges as you want. Am I the only one who thinks that's off?
Here's one last little bit of confusion. A couple of times when I have stayed home sick I have watched Judge Judy. I'm guilty: I admit it. The thing I will never understand is how two people can be in a relationship and there will be give and take as long as things are good in the relationship. Gifts are given and received and love is in the air: the world is in order… But, somehow, gifts become loans as soon as one of the gift givers gets pissed off at the other? That's just wrong…and it's funny how all of the gifts the other person gave are somehow disregarded in the factoring out of what is now "owed?" Of course Judge Judy never falls for that crap. She knows that it's just about people being mad and trying to get back at the person they're angry with.
Y'know what I think? I think vengeance is the Lord's. I think, "Be angry and sin not." I think what goes around comes around. I don't have the time or the energy to get even…I barely have the time to get angry. I'm going to do what I think is right…maybe even go so far as to kill with kindness (not literally kill of course) and try to pay what I do owe and freely give out of a sincere heart with no thought for paybacks. I don't know that my IOUs will ever be paid. I probably owe somebody (other than God, of course, because I really DO owe Him) something for just waking up each day. But I do know that we will all be held accountable for our actions and our words some day. So I may feel like no one is taking my side right now, but I can trust that Someone is, and I can rest in the fact that this is not my final destination…nor is it the final destination of my so-called "creditors."
Vengeance belongs to the Lord. |
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