James

December 28, 2007 - Friday

Current mood: contemplative
Category: Friends

Today is the anniversary of the death of my friend James. He died one year ago today. It's still hard to deal with because he was so young and I didn't get the chance to know him for very long... Even so, the connection that we had was deep and I still miss him today as if I'd just talked to him yesterday. I'm a better person for having known him and in some ways I'm a little more messed up for having known him, too. But the good outweighs the bad by SO much. One of the coolest things to come out of knowing James is having three new friends that I can talk to, check on, and with whom I can reminisce. L, D and M you ladies have made this a better year than it might have been and I just want you to know that I'm thankful for you... as much so as I'm thankful for James.

Loss happens, it's a fact of life... a sucky fact of life but a fact still yet. I've stopped trying to figure out the why and have simply settled on being thankful for the time I have with people. My brain and my heart are simply too simple to figure it all out. I remain grateful, however, for the faith I have in God and His provision for me. When things don't make sense, when I'm hurting so much that I can't make heads nor tails of things, I trust that He is in control and if I really want to know I can ask Him some day and He will tell me. There is peace in knowing He is there. There is comfort knowing that He has experienced loss, too, for my sake.

God is good. He loves you and He loves me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Moving to Portland

In 2005 I was teaching at a private alternative school in Balston, OR. I LOVED that job: not so much the paperwork and planning that comes with teaching, but working with teens that did not fit the “normal” bill. In October of that year I was informed that I needed to enroll in school as well as teach it. I was so excited to find out that not only did I get to go for my masters degree and teacher certification, I was going to be able to go on someone else’s dime! I went through the application hoops, took the MAT, bought my books, and in December I started a new cohort at Western Oregon University. After my first term there I was elated to find myself sporting my first ever 4.0 GPA. My classes had all been about adolescents: psychology, learning styles and development. I had found my passion! I was eager to start the next term until I took the first term bill into my boss and she said I would need to pay it. WHAT? That’s when things started going south… and without realizing it, I took...
Read more

The Best (I shouldn't have) Laid (down) Plans

Image
I have decided that I just don't care if my life has become an if-it's-not-one-thing-it's-another-one-comedy-of-errors-after-the-other-I-could-write-a-book-about-this-crap saga. It's my life, it's the only one I get, these are the choices I've made, this is the person I've become. My journals, Heaven forbid they are ever published, are fraught with stories of laughter and tears, joy and heartbreak, struggle and... well, struggle. (Wait... Casey Nichols, upon my death I here-by bequeath my journals to you. You may publish them but change the names, including mine, to protect the innoc... well, just change the names.) Many of my blog entries also reflect the often ridiculous nature of my life and the events that occur within the minutes and hours I stumble upon this crazy planet. I am not one to hide a good story, nor a good lesson for that matter, and take pride only in the fact that with each silly or disastrous occurrence God gives me the humility (and ...
Read more

Biggest Loser Casting Call

Alert! This is a long one. It doesn’t take much to excite me these days, and as a rule I am, for the most part, easy to please. I try not to ask for too much, expect even less than I ask for, and generally try to be thankful for what I am given. Every once in a while, however, something really big or really cool comes along, and I psyche myself up for the event and against my better judgment I hope… I pray… I yearn… for something that will be truly life changing. When will I learn? Okay, okay, before I go into trashing mode, I will admit that there were good things about the day. Good company can turn around the most undesirable situations, and I had the best company you could ask for. Laugh if you like, but I have found that most of the people I know who have a lot of… um… well, “personal insulation” on them almost always have a lot of fun as well, especially when they are amongst friends. S and K are two very funny, very supportive friends who, along with a few kind strangers, litera...
Read more