More Morphine, Please
 | Current mood:  annoyed Category: Life Yesterday when I got home from work I had an "episode." This was the worst, yet. I felt like I had an alien inside me trying to get out. I spent over 30 minutes puking and then couldn't get up because I was so dizzy. I was finally able to lift myself only to realize I couldn't walk. My family was out of town, my "emergency" friends weren't answering their phones, and I couldn't drive myself so I called my soon to be roommate, Tracy, and asked her what to do. She said she couldn't be there soon enough and it might be bad so call 911. So I did. The ambulance came and I was taken to the hospital. Gallbladder pain is equated to the pain some women feel when giving birth. I definitely felt pain. I couldn't even breathe right because it hurt too much. I had to do labor breathing, and I've never had a baby so I was probably doing it wrong. I was crying and dizzy and felt like I was going to throw up some more. Thankfully there wasn't anything left to throw up. The medic gave me an IV in my hand and kind of butchered it. That made me more nauseous. The ambulance ride was crazy! The driver and medic were nice but the ride was bumpy. It was really bad. I wanted to die it was so bad. All this and I was laying there panting just trying to breathe! When we got to the hospital it was so crowded they were doing triage. For me that meant I was out in the waiting room with an IV still attached to my hand, and a right side that felt like it was going to explode. Tracy was my hero that night. She stayed the whole time with me. We sat for over two hours in the waiting room and then another four hours in the ER. I was in pain for four hours at the hospital before they gave me any pain killers But not before I managed to rip out the IV that was in my hand! Here's a sample of how things were going: Yay! (Pant, pant) Ripping out my IV felt good! (Pant, pant.) Oooo! (Pant, pant.) Look at all the pretty blood on the floor! (Pant, pant.) I feel dizzy, I have to what? (Pant, pant.) Get another IV? (Pant, pant.) Great! But you'll give me some drugs? (Pant, pant.) FINALLY! (Pant, pant.) I got MORPHINE. Dude, it's a good thing I'm not prone to drug or alcohol addiction because Morphine ROCKS! I was laying there on the bed, almost to the point of convulsion and the nurse came in and asked me if I knew who George Burns was. I said, "Sure." He said, "Okay, say goodnight Gracie." I laughed. Two maybe three minutes later I felt everything get really warm and really slow. I said, "Heeeeeeeeeey. Soooooooommmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeetttttttthhiiiiiiiiiingggggggg is happening!" The nurse laughed. It was the narcotics. A few minutes later and I was feeling WAY less pain. I went through the same rigamarole as last time. They gave me an ultrasound and told me it was my gallbladder. I could have told them that...WAIT! I did! 'Way to do something unnecessary just so you can charge me for it. In the end, they didn't do surgery. Why? I wasn't serious enough. It wasn't good enough that I was in pain so bad it was 10 on a scale from one to 10. (Actually I told them I was at 70 but they didn't believe me.) For me to have emergency surgery I have to be dying, or something has to be bleeding, bursting or breaking. Neat. How many more times do I have to go through this before I can afford to have a scheduled surgery where a portion of the ridiculous co-pay has to be paid first? Maybe, if I'm "lucky", the next time I will be dying or something will be bleeding, bursting or breaking. I never thought I'd wish for something to be that wrong with me. What's even better is that I make TOO MUCH MONEY to get on the Oregon Health Plan. Do you believe this? I'm a freaking teacher at a charter school! At least I try to work. What about the people out there who could be working but are on assistance and get HUGE benefits? Ugh, I'm obviously very bitter right now. I know it's not pretty. But! Neither is the color of my vomit going down the toilet. I'm frustrated on so many levels about this. I won't go into them... Sigh. This too shall pass. God never gives us more than we can handle. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. God is good. |
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