Obedience & Doing What is Right

April 30, 2007 - Monday

Current mood: melancholy
Category: Life

Doing the right thing can be so difficult...

It seems like ever time I think I've found something I'd like to "have," God has a different plan. I'm not bitter about it, just a little sad. I know I'll get over it, but the "right now" is a struggle...it hurts. I get discouraged because I realize just how messed up my desires are. Y'see I trust that God knows exactly what I need down to the smallest details of my life. I believe that He knows and wants what is best for me. I have no doubt about that at all. What I struggle to believe, however, is that I will ever figure out how to want the right things. Will I ever truly get it? Will I ever come to the point in my life where I don't want the wrong things? I mean I don't set out after the wrong things, I just find them. Or do I? Do I gravitate towards them or do I seek them out? Regardless, what I find is that I usually end up wanting those things. Inevitably I do let go and turn away. I realize, by His grace, that it's not what God wants for me and because I trust Him and He gives me the strength to do it, I let it go. I know He knows best. I just wish I didn't take the detours that I do. It would make things a lot easier. Ah, but He never said it would be easy, did He?

I don't think you will ever know or understand how hard it is to walk away, but it's the right thing to do. I love you. I love you more than you can imagine. But I love Him more.

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