Random Ramblings From a Would-be Raconteur

January 27, 2007 - Saturday

Current mood: melancholy
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Yesterday. It was my nephew's birthday...he's 19 now. I feel old. I was 17 when he was born...17 seems light years away. It was a different time and I was not only in a different place mentally, I was in a different place physically. Alaska. I miss Alaska...miss those times...the simplicity of the hardship of high school. It was difficult, but looking back I can see that it was an easier kind of difficult. Grin. That really was a ramble. Anyhoo, yeah, yesterday was Joshie's birthday. My how time flies...and all the other cliches we use to express the fact that we are completely overwhelmed by the feeling that time is passing by faster than it really is. Josh is in college now...I was a year and a half away from graduating high school when he was born, and now he is in college! Wow.

Today. I'm working at the gallery today, and tonight I'm having dinner with the family to celebrate the aforementioned birthday. Today I'm also giving notice at the gallery. Yep, I'm finally doing it. My last day will be February 28. I've given 11 months of my life to this endeavor and I feel that it's enough. I'm tired of dressing up more for my minimum wage job than I do for my day job. I'm tired of having to "pay back" or make up for my requested days off. I'm tired of the air conditioner that can't seem to regulate itself. I'm tired of hearing kids scream at the top of their lungs because mommy or daddy won't give them what they want. I'm tired of hearing parents eventually give in to their screaming kids. I'm tired of seeing ridiculously under-dressed obese people walk by (it's like a train wreck...I try to look away but I just can't) ...and finally? I'm tired of making justifications for an artist who is a decent man, and wonderful father and husband, but whose art inspires no passionate response in me at all...except for maybe an, "Oooo. Pretty!" One more month.

Tomorrow. I've got a couple of things on the schedule for tomorrow... I have to work at the gallery because of some bogus reason I can't remember. I'm supposed to have Sundays off but I agreed to work this one because I was co-dependent at the time I was asked to do it. I'll bring a book or something because it's been so stinking slow. Tomorrow night I will babysit and then I will go home and take some time to be sad for just a little bit. Tomorrow is the one month anniversary of the death of my friend James. Sigh. I still miss him.

Currently listening:
Unwritten
By Natasha Bedingfield
Release date: 14 October, 2004

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