Today Was One of Those Days
 | Current mood:  melancholy Category: Life Have you ever had one of those days where you kind of knew the night before that it was going to be rough? Today was one of those days...it was so bad it started last night. I got home last night and my stomach was killing me! I've been on antibiotics for the past few days so my belly has been a little wiggy in general, but last night it felt like I had drank a vat of acid. Nothing I did would make it better. I finally just chewed up a bunch of berry flavored Tums and called it a night. I woke up at 4:45 this morning...way to stinking early to be good. My stomach was still acting totally crazy so I went to the loo but nothing came of it so I went back to bed. I reset my alarm for 6:00 but it never got the chance to go off because I didn't fall back to sleep. So I turned it off at 5:58 and went ahead and got up. I showered, brushed teeth, dried hair and put on make-up and clothes and headed out the door. Somehow I was behind schedule. I realized half way to work that I'd left my cell phone at home. My stomach was still acting weird, the weather was weird, and for some reason I just wanted to pull over to the side of the road and cry! But I didn't...I kept driving. That's me...I'm like the blue fish in Finding Nemo..."Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." I got to work and parked and sat for two seconds wondering if I should get out of my truck. It was kind of humorous, but also kind of strange. I did get out of my truck and I headed into school. I can't put my finger on it...I can't explain how I knew - except that maybe God gave me some kind of heads up so I would be prepared... but the day was just oppressive. Nothing terribly huge happened but a ton of minor irritations happened all day long. I felt like I was constantly putting out little fires, but not really getting anything else done. It was all reactionary. I was cool and calm and collected, and I managed to prevent a forest fire, but it seemed like it was just by the skin of my teeth. In my daytime world I have to be the cool one, I have to be in control because these kids are not. Once I unlock my truck door and head home, however, I get to let it all out. Outside of making sure I don't have a wreck, I can go bonkers if I want to, and today I did. I rolled down the windows even though it was freezing and I let out the biggest cleansing scream I could muster...impressive because I've been sick and my throat was still killing me. I just let it all out...let it go. After the scream I thought I was done with the day, but as soon as I got home I found out that work had followed me. There was more drama and more crap to sort through. So I did it, I dealt with the drama and sorted through the crap and then I headed off to the gallery for more poised behavior. Of course when I got to the mall there was more to deal with...more things to be sad about, more things to be frustrated about...plenty of time to think about things, but no time to feel things, no time to process. Will this day never end? Sigh. Yes, it will end. and then I'll spend some quality time with God. I'll tell Him about this day, I will read His word, I will find peace before my head hits the pillow, and I will sleep... ...and tomorrow I will get up and do it all over again. It will be okay... I will be okay. |
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