Hit Me With Your Best Shot
 | Current mood:  contemplative Category: Life So yesterday was a day. Working with special ed kids is a challenge in general. It's fulfilling like you wouldn't believe, but it's a struggle at times, too. There are a lot of things we know and there are a lot of things that are unknown. How much do they understand? Is there a hidden language within the babbling? What makes the elation turn to frustration in a split second? Autism, especially, is still very mystical to me. I've been dealing with kids with autism for three and a half years now and I'm still amazed at some of the things I see and hear. My position right now is "special programs assistant" and I'm a one-on-one instructional assistant for a boy with autism. He's a hoot most times. He does a lot of parroting, talks and laughs almost incessantly, and when his meds are right and he's had a good rest he is a joy to work with. He drives me a little crazy at times, but I have to wonder whether in his sweet-faced little head if I'm driving him a little crazy, too. I'm what's known as a "pusher" when it comes to education. I don't let kids slack off very much. When I had my own classroom and was teaching in private school I was known as the strict but fair and cool teacher at the school. I was honest about my expectations of behavior and work ethic and if you didn't tow the line I'd basically nag you into submission. (But it was cool nagging, trust me.) I knew just about everything that was going on in my students' lives because they trusted me and would confide in me. Most of their parents did the same - they knew where I stood on things and appreciated my no nonsence approach to education. My kids just loved the fact that I accepted them for who they were. I'd lay into them about stupid choices they were making at home and how they talked to their parents and they knew that regardless of how goofy they were I still loved them. My current situation is different. I don't have as much freedom since it's not my class and this kid isn't functioning at the same level of understanding and reasoning as a lot of my kids in the past. Yesterday when I was trying to get him to do some math he got frustrated and out of nowhere he started hitting himself and then hit me in the arm. The escalation was much faster than other times. I've only been hit once before and that was because it was my first week and I didn't know what to look for. The problem is I don't know him in and out like I knew my kids when I was teaching. I have access to information but it's not the same as having true access to the kid himself. I guess I'm just wanting to do the best job I can, and wanting to make a difference in the life of this silly/sweet kid who was born with some pretty seriously crossed wires. It's frustrating not knowing and not having the freedom to experiment with things like I used to when I had my own class. God has me here for a reason, though, and unless HE moves me I'm where I'm supposed to be. I can't wait to continue with my masters program, and I think that will ease my feelings of inadequacy. I love learning about kids and how to teach and reach them. I'm really looking forward to any special ed classes I can take while doing the main program. I won't be able to do the special education certification until after my MAT program. I s'pose that's all for now. God is WAY good, dudes. Totally. :-) |
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