Lemon Souffle’: A Deterrent?
 | Current mood:  animated Category: Life March 27, 2008
I will never quite understand how a week can be both good and not so good. Notice how I didn’t say, "bad" here, I just said, "not-so-good." I have to wonder if it’s me… is it something I did or am not doing? Probably… my counselor (Did you know I’m seeing a counselor? I am, she’s wonderful, and she is a gift from God.) Anyway, my counselor would tell me that I’m being co-dependent by thinking that way. She’d be right. I mean, there is a certain amount of "rightness" to considering how someone else feels. We should always try to put the other person first – it’s Biblical. But what I’m talking about isn’t that kind of putting someone first… it’s the kind where I sometimes live my life based on what someone else says, does, feels or thinks. I’m getting better, but I still fall into that mode sometimes. Here’s a "for instance" (and this is a very broad example – I’ve never done anything THIS co-dependent). If a co-dependent person were to go to a grocery store and see that the only checker that’s working happens to be someone they know is always grumpy, it wouldn’t be unusual for the co-dependent person to decide to either wait and come back a different day, go to a different store, or they might choose to only get 3 items when they really need to get 23. Now an ADULT, who is what I’m trying to grow up to be, wouldn’t even think about something like that. An ADULT would have complained to the manager the first time that checker was grumpy and that checker would have hopefully made an attitude adjustment by now. Or, an adult would buy whatever the heck they need, even if it’s two baskets full, and they’d stroll right up to the checker, give ’em a smile and start putting the groceries on the conveyor belt without even sweating it. But alas, I’m NOT quite an adult in that area… Sigh.
So, as I’m working on my room I check in with my parents and have them look at my progress. Y’see I can’t paint. I mean it. I stink. Oh, I could paint a really cool mural or cute flowers or artsy-fartsy stuff, but just putting paint on walls? I’m HORRIBLE! I’m seeing drips after the fact and snowflakes of primer coming through the yellow. You can see my roller strokes in places and I won’t even DARE get into the condition of the walls themselves, which makes the poor paint job look even worse. But it’s cool, the room is temporary and I’ve got some plans to frou-frou it up a little so it won’t be so obvious that an idiot painted it. LOL. Now I already know I’m not going fast enough for my parents but I HAVE gotten over that because I keep reminding myself of the fact that the stinkin’ room was supposed to be done before I even moved in, so I’m NOT going to be co-dependent about that. Even so, when both my dad and mom looked at the room they each sort of grimaced. My dad said the paint job itself was okay but then he added, "…if you like yellow, and I don’t like yellow." My pained response was, "I do." Then today when I asked my mom to look at the room she said, "Ooo. It’s too bright." All I could say was, "I like it." AND I DO! I really like it! I LOVE YELLOW! It makes me happy! It IS bright. I’M BRIGHT! THERE ARE NO WINDOWS! I WANT SOMETHING THAT RESEMBLES SUNLIGHT IN THERE AND IT MATCHES MY STUFF!!!
Phew. I feel better now.
Anyway, I got to thinking while I was finishing up the second coat of BEAUTIFUL LEMON SOUFFLÉ that perhaps my really yellow room, which my parents don’t like, will keep them from wanting to come in! Hmmmmm… a parent deterrent. Maybe I’m on to something here. I mean I’m going to have a door with a key-lock on it so it’s not like they’ll be able to get in there anyway, but maybe it will keep them out while I’m HOME! Hmmmmm. Yes. This could be good. My co-dependent issues may not be reconciled yet, but my privacy issues (and leave me alone issues) may be resolved in the very near future.
I’ll keep my counselor just in case. |
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