Primer
 | Current mood:  sweaty Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes March 16, 2008 7:37 PM.
I am typing on what must be the dirtiest keyboard I’ve ever experienced. I can feel the fingernail polish being systematically scraped off of my nails with each keystroke. The computer I’m typing on is in the garage that I’m working in at my parents’ house. I don’t know when I will be able to pull this off of it because it’s not connected to the internet and I don’t think it has that connector thingy that you can plug your portable drive thing into. (I have one, and know how to use it; I just don’t know what it’s called.) (I know, I know, I’m a GENIUS!) Anyway, it’s my dad’s game computer… it has Windows 97 on it so all the stuff is old but he plays solitaire and free cell and it makes him happy. I loaded a few Hoyle demo card and board games and they make ME happy. LOL.
I’m taking a break from primering. Is that the correct terminology? I’m not painting, yet, because it’s not really paint… its primer… says so on the bucket – and might I just add it’s a HUGE bucket. But then again, it’s taking a HUGE amount of primer to get even the closet done. My wonderfully frugal dad (and I mean that) used scrap wood to make the closet and scrap doors to make the closet doors. The problem is that most of the wood either had some kind of stain (lacquer), stain (something was spilled on it) or dirt. In his hurry to get the room built, which by the way it is technically built except for a few little things like crack taping and of course the painting, he opted not to strip, sand or clean any of the wood. The result is that I’ve got several different types of wood, several different colors of wood, several different qualities of wood, and several different textures of wood. I’m also primering the walls, which are made of un-mudded sheet rock but it’s the brown side, not the white side. All of this to say I’ve put 3 coats of primer on so far and while I’ll admit I’m HORRIBLE at painting, I don’t think even the best painter could make the 3 coats look good. I told my dad when he got in tonight that I was going to finish up with the third coat of primer in the closet and start on the bedroom walls. If I’m desperate to put another coat of primer on the closet I’ll do it while the walls are drying or something.
So I’m not one who enjoys painting – at least I don’t enjoy the idea of it. I think because I’m not very good at it I get frustrated. I don’t mind the work. It’s actually cool because I’m in there and I’m sweating so I know I’m getting a mild aerobic workout. I look like heck, but I don’t care, I’m not trying to impress anyone… I mean there’s literally no one to impress – I’m working alone. LOL. I have to wonder what my reaction would be if some sweet, cute man dropped by in the middle of my "workout." Would I let him in? Sure, why the heck not? If he can love me looking like this then he can love me regardless. Anyway, of course, as I’m primering and listening to a compilation cd of Christian music, my mind gets to thinking and I start to wonder if there are any deeper meanings to what I’m doing. I start thinking about how difficult it is to get some of the wood to look even halfway decent but I know if I don’t make it all look at least somewhat uniform then the paint won’t go on uniform and it will look off. Now I know it’s only the closet but I’ll still see it each day when I get my clothes out, so I’m trying to make the primer look smooth and even. I want the wood and sheet rock to be all white - not streaked white and brown because I can’t paint, not tinted yellow because of the lacquer, and not streaked tan and white because of the dirt. I want it to be white… pure… like new snow. That way, anything I put on top of it will be beautiful…
Do you see where I’m going with this?
I want ME to be even and smooth. I want me to be white… pure… like new snow. Not like honky white – I’m not speaking of skin color or ethnicity: I’ve got too much Indian in me to ever be fully Caucasian. I’m talking about my heart, my mind, my soul and my spirit. I want them to be pure. In a way, Jesus is my primer. He comes in and covers up the blemishes and imperfections… but He doesn’t have to be frugal and He has plenty of time… before He paints Himself on me He takes the time to strip off the old varnish, sand down the rough edges and clean up all the dirt. He was a carpenter, you know, and I’m sure he could handle sheet rock, too. He makes me smooth and then coats me evenly with His righteousness and His blood so I’m as pure and white as fresh snow. After that, anything He puts on me: blessings, trials, happiness, sadness, busy times, times of rest, peace or turmoil… it all looks beautiful because of what lies underneath.
I’m realizing that my closet may not come out looking perfect – and the same goes for my room. Even if I work really hard to do a good job, which I will, it’s probably NOT going to be gorgeous. It’s only temporary, though, so it’s not a big deal. I am eternal, however, and I know that Christ is incapable of doing a poor job – when He tries it is ALWAYS perfection. So, I will some day come out looking (and being) perfect. I look forward to that day! I look forward to having this body stripped away and being in Heaven.
I also look forward to having my room done. LOL. |
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