What’s Goin’ On?
 | Current mood:  focused Category: Life Life Update Blog: Part of me wants to make this into one of those long diatribes I'm sort of known for, but a newly developing part of me simply wants to put some general facts down and get it over with. I'll try to meet myself in the middle but I think the newly developing part of me is going to win out. LOL. A few weeks back I wrote a silly blog about going to a concert. I did NOT end up going. Initially I was really excited to go and I was especially excited to see and hang out with my friend, Matt. As the date for the concert got nearer, however, I found myself having second thoughts. I began praying very seriously about whether I should go or not and in the 9th inning (Matt's a baseball fan) I chose to forfeit the game and not go. I just felt like I wasn't supposed to do it. There were a number of reasons but the main umbrella reason was that I felt like it wasn't a good idea. I was (and still am) certain that God did not want me to go. Matt was VERY understanding... and kind... and sweet... (and WAY more of a friend than I could ever deserve) and is still talking to me, amazingly enough. I just told him that it came down to a choice between God and him, and God wins out. I'm sorry I missed the concert, and I'm sorry I didn't get to hang out with Matt, but I know I did the right thing. So with the concert off the schedule I was able to put the Youth Evangelism Conference ON my schedule and I immediately felt at peace about my decision to skip one thing and go to another. God is good like that - as He is with all things. So Monday night I called PS and told him I would be available to go for the girls if he needed me. He said it would be great to have me come along so it was set. I've been struggling with some issues for the past few months and I've blogged about some of them - I'm referring mainly to the medical stuff. (There have also been other issues that I won't go into because in light of what happened it's all irrelevant now.) Suffice it to say the outcome ended up being that I was fired from my job on Friday morning for "absenteeism" due to medical issues. I don't think my boss meant for it to happen, but I could be wrong. I think what started out as a discussion with someone ended up as a decision by that someone. Either way, I'm taking responsibility for it and placing no blame anywhere but right here - regardless of whether I could done anything about it or not. Sick is sick and if I can power through I will, if I can't, I have to do what I have to do. I was told, thankfully, that it wasn't a performance issue. The person who did the termination said that everyone had said I was great with the kids, and she herself had seen me working with them and thought I did a great job. The sneaky part of the deal was, however, that I was three days away from my 6 month probationary period being over and if they were going to "get rid" of me without any problems they had to do it before that time was up. I totally understand that and while I was a little unnerved at first because I didn't know what I was going to do for a job, I was still somehow (GOD) okay with what was happening. So, I was fired at 8:30 am, guess how long it took me to get a job? Forty minutes. Yep, that's what I wrote: forty (40) minutes. I ran into a co-worker/friend on my way out of the school and told her what had happened. She hugged me and then told me to go immediately to her second job and put in an application. I did and I was hired on the spot. It's a health care company that specializes in home care assisting for people who are disabled, on the mend from being sick, in physical therapy, or terminally ill. I will be able to work full time because there are so many shifts and clients. But in light of my health stuff, I won't have to have a set schedule so if I have a relapse I can simply pick up a shift after I get better, and not have to miss one because I'm on a specific schedule. It will help me establish a record of good attendance, which is what I will need once my health is back where it should be. It's amazing. It's a total God thing: it absolutely fits into my grand scheme of working with special education kids because doing so will require many of the care-taking skills that I will be able to perform while I'm doing this job. I've got some experience in the area of toileting, bed care, wheel chair care, transferring patients, etc., but this will give me so much more. It's also a total God thing because I need a job but right now I need something with a little more flexibility in the schedule. This will give me exactly that. God is GOOD! Like water poured into a jar full of pebbles, my parental problems always seem to fill in the gaps where other problems can't reach. Things have been tense, to say the least, and the verbal manure that has been slung at me as been very hard to "wipe off." I got some good advice from some rational sources, however, and I'm working on taking less offense and giving more apathy. I've figured some things out recently, too, by the grace of God, and I'm slowly getting an idea of what I need to do and how I need to respond. That's not to say that the situation is going to get better or my parents are going to change their ways... and I'm not even saying either one of those things SHOULD happen. I'm just saying that I'm working on changing ME so it doesn't have the same effect and I don't get so darned sad and emotional every time I get dissed by my parents. Finally, the Youth Evangelism conference: YAY! It was so awesome. I know it wasn't FOR me or ABOUT me, but it was so WAY impactful ON me. I got to spend some quality time with some great people and get to know them a little better (L, R, J, B, D, and PS) and I got to experience and participate in some incredible worship time with a band called Shacha. I learned some good stuff, laughed at some good stuff, and got to see some old friends as well. It was a total blessing to me. I pray I was a blessing to those around me. So, right now I'm at the bro's house. I was supposed to work tonight but the client went to the hospital so my shift was cancelled. The family is supposed to call tomorrow to let us know if I will be needed. In light of tonight's cancellation I decided to come over here and type up a storm to do an update blog. I am applying for some other shift work jobs - something part time - so I don't know that I'm going to have time to do any blogging (or deep thinking so I have something to blog about for that matter) any time soon. In July I have a one month job lined up with the Gervais school district. I have a feeling I'm going to be very busy over the next few months, and I'm so okay with that. In other news, the alternator is in my car and it seems to be running smoothly. Thank you, Dad. (He put it in today.) I spoke with my parents today and told them that regardless of what needed to be done I wanted to move my bed into my Lemon Souffle room this week. My mom assured me that we would get me moved in this week. YESSSSSSSSSssss! It will be nice to not have to worry about waking people up when I'm coming in at all hours of the day and night. Funny side-note: my dad said he put the key-locking doorknob in the door but can't seem to find the keys that lock/unlock it. GrrrrrrrREAT! Ah well, not to worry, he said if he can't find the keys he can always get another doorknob. So... despite the craziness, despite the overwhelming desire (at times) to drown myself in a vat of Starbucks Java Chip Ice Cream, despite the instability and chaos... despite everything that could be taken as negative, I am alive... and God is good... and apparently the diatribe writer won out... and that's all she wrote... for now. |
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