Timing

The words were there,
on the tip of my tongue,
but the breath wouldn’t come.

The pain was there,
In the pit of my stomach,
But I wouldn’t die from it.

Exasperated, sighing:
I played the game.

Frustrated, lying:
The outcome the same.

The angst was there,
in the clench of my jaw,
because it is always this flaw.

The regret was there,
At the raise of my hands,
I rebel against my own commands.

Disgusted, ashamed:
played by a user.

I trusted, deranged,
I’m being a loser.