I Will Enter His Gates... It is a good thing!
It was good to be in church Sunday. It had been a while. I needed it. How do I know I needed it? Even now as I'm trying to type about one thing, my mind (aided I'm sure by the evil one) is trying to take me somewhere else; make me wander off on some tangent that has no health benefits whatsoever for my soul. But church, that was good for my soul... and more.
There's a stigma amongst fellow believers for those of us who aren't regularly attending church. Most of me acknowledges it is rightly so: the natural question that arises (and maybe that's what that remaining part of me doesn't like - the question is from a natural place and not a spiritual place), "WHY aren't you going to church?" Even the kindest of people have a hard time believing you're just going through a wilderness. Often times I can see it in their eyes; judgment, assumption, criticism. What they may not understand is that I'm usually doing a good job of judging myself and being critical of my own actions, I don't need any help. Now and then someone, who either gets it because they've been there, or gets it because they're just amazingly, miraculously, and wonderfully aware of the grace of God, will look at me a certain way or encourage me (I'm thinking of one or two people specifically) and I will realize what I'm missing in fellowship. It's usually then, along with the moving of the Spirit, of course, that I'm able to get back into church. That's what happened this Sunday. Someone's love and understanding, rather than someone's chastising, brought me to my senses (and out of my funk) and I wanted to be there. I wanted to go to church.
So I went. It wasn't as difficult of a wake up. I didn't feel cheated at not getting to sleep in. There wasn't any anxiety. Do I think it was okay to give in to those things before that? No, not really, but I wonder if my recent thyroid discovery had something to do with some of that. Whether it was or wasn't, I was seemingly hindrance free, and I'm glad for that.
My Bible study has been pretty faithful while I wasn't going to church. Maybe because I knew I needed to be connected somehow, or maybe just because I've finally grown up enough to recognize and act on my actual love for God and His word. Either way, I've been doing a devotional series online and I don't find it coincidental at all that the focus has been worship, both in and out of church, for the past few months. So Sunday morning as I left Sunday School and walked into the sanctuary I really did have a better understanding of what I was doing there. There was a real sense of entering His gates and sensing the change in me that signaled I was ready to participate in the "praise and worship" part of overall worship. I praise Him for that. I praise and thank Him for His timing. I thank Him for His grace and forgiveness.
"It is a good thing
To give thanks unto the Lord
It is a good thing
To give thanks unto the Lord
And to sing praises unto Thy name
O Most High"
There's a stigma amongst fellow believers for those of us who aren't regularly attending church. Most of me acknowledges it is rightly so: the natural question that arises (and maybe that's what that remaining part of me doesn't like - the question is from a natural place and not a spiritual place), "WHY aren't you going to church?" Even the kindest of people have a hard time believing you're just going through a wilderness. Often times I can see it in their eyes; judgment, assumption, criticism. What they may not understand is that I'm usually doing a good job of judging myself and being critical of my own actions, I don't need any help. Now and then someone, who either gets it because they've been there, or gets it because they're just amazingly, miraculously, and wonderfully aware of the grace of God, will look at me a certain way or encourage me (I'm thinking of one or two people specifically) and I will realize what I'm missing in fellowship. It's usually then, along with the moving of the Spirit, of course, that I'm able to get back into church. That's what happened this Sunday. Someone's love and understanding, rather than someone's chastising, brought me to my senses (and out of my funk) and I wanted to be there. I wanted to go to church.
So I went. It wasn't as difficult of a wake up. I didn't feel cheated at not getting to sleep in. There wasn't any anxiety. Do I think it was okay to give in to those things before that? No, not really, but I wonder if my recent thyroid discovery had something to do with some of that. Whether it was or wasn't, I was seemingly hindrance free, and I'm glad for that.
My Bible study has been pretty faithful while I wasn't going to church. Maybe because I knew I needed to be connected somehow, or maybe just because I've finally grown up enough to recognize and act on my actual love for God and His word. Either way, I've been doing a devotional series online and I don't find it coincidental at all that the focus has been worship, both in and out of church, for the past few months. So Sunday morning as I left Sunday School and walked into the sanctuary I really did have a better understanding of what I was doing there. There was a real sense of entering His gates and sensing the change in me that signaled I was ready to participate in the "praise and worship" part of overall worship. I praise Him for that. I praise and thank Him for His timing. I thank Him for His grace and forgiveness.
"It is a good thing
To give thanks unto the Lord
It is a good thing
To give thanks unto the Lord
And to sing praises unto Thy name
O Most High"
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